


i know who his dad is (it's you)

by imeanthatsprettysnazzy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, That's it, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, everybody thinks peter is tony's frfr kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28744752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imeanthatsprettysnazzy/pseuds/imeanthatsprettysnazzy
Summary: Pepper blinked again, slower. She shook her head hurriedly. “No, I — I thought he was your kid.”“What?”“Well, what else was I meant to think?” Pepper exclaimed, looking at him like he was insane. “You’re sitting there, very clearly pretending like you’re okay, with information on a kid that was born during the middle of your crazy years!”
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 37
Kudos: 690





	i know who his dad is (it's you)

**PEOPLE THINK PETER IS TONY’S SON**

To Tony’s absolute horror, the phenomenon began with Pepper — and, even worse, it was before she even met the kid. before _he_ even met the kid.

Their little break was exactly that — little. And they still saw each other during it, what with the company they shared between them, and everything.

It was a week into their break, a few days before the accords meeting with Ross, and he was looking for Spider-Man’s identity.

Searching for the new Queens vigilante had been something of a distraction. He had actual work to do, and he was procrastinating, so he told himself that he would do the work… _after_ he found the vigilante’s identity.

A few YouTube videos and twitter posts gave him a rough area that Spider-Man patrolled, and the times he was usually out at; after three in the afternoon on weekdays, and around Forest Hills, Glendale and Middle Village in Queens.

At first, Tony was thinking a teacher, of some sort — the guy was never out before three during the week, and didn’t go out on weekends often, so a teacher would make sense… and then, he re-watched the YouTube footage. Re-read the tweets. And… no. Spider-Man couldn’t be a teacher.

There was a video of the guy catching a mugger, tubing on to the scene with a loud, _‘Hey! Thanks for checking in, I’m — still a piece of garbage!’._ Tony knew that was some weird kid joke. While he, admittedly, wasn’t overly close with Wanda, she was a kid, and she’d shown him a few ‘vines’ — and what Spider-Man said was one of the ones that Wanda had shown him.

So, Spider-Man was a kid. Around Wanda’s age.

It was confirmed further when multiple people said they heard him yelling _‘yeet’_ while swinging between buildings — something else that he knew from Wanda; she always said it when she threw things.

Spider-Man was _definitely_ a kid.

And, given the hours, it meant that he was almost certainly in High School… younger than Tony had expected, but possible. And not impossible to work with, if need be.

So, he was looking for a High Schooler — a boy, presumably. He was hoping the upper half, but he couldn’t be certain.

After than, Tony dove deeper into the Spider-Man obsessed part of the internet, and found that people had also seen Spider-Man eating sandwiches — and one man even said that he _‘just saw that spider dude buying a sandwich at delmars wtf’_ and that the sandwich was a _‘squashed number five with pickles what is with this dude that is such a weird combo!’_

So, a teenage boy from Queens — from Forest Hills, Glendale or Middle Village — who liked a very specific sandwich from somewhere called Delmars.

A very quick google search found that Delmars Deli-Grocery was a local Queens business owned and managed by Alssandro Delmar. It was almost too easy to tap into the the shop’s video cameras.

“Okay, FRI.” Tony leaned back in his chair, the footage floating in front of him. “Find me anyone that orders a number five — with pickles.”

“Yes, Boss.” FRIDAY paused, and a few squares of the footage were highlighted. “There are two hundred and three instances of people ordering number fives with pickles.”

“Alright — which is the first one?”

A specific video came up and began to play. A man and a young boy walked into the store, the man holding the younger’s hand, and smiling at the man behind the counter as he came in.

_“Ey, Delmar!”_

_“Parker!”_ The counter man replied. _“When’d you get a kid?”_

 _“This is my nephew, Peter.”_ Parker replied. _“Just moved in with May n’ I. Say hi, Pete.”_

The child waved.

_“Number five?”_

_“Ah, you know me so well, Delmar.”_ The man laughed. _“Pete, you want a five?”_

The child whispered something, and Parker nodded. _“He’ll have his with pickles. A five, too.”_

“Okay, so… the guy’s too old, the kid is an actual baby — any different ones?”

“If I may,” FRIDAY said. “That footage is from 2007. The boy is the customer that has ordered that particular sandwich the most since 2007.”

“Okay. So… most recent footage of that kid?”

A different video came forward, of a boy — a young teen — wearing a blue shirt. “Do you want me to play it?” FRIDAY asked.

“Nah.” Tony shook his head. “Just get facial recognition on that kid. Thanks.”

Within the minute, there was an answer — Peter Parker, age fourteen, student at Midtown School of Science and Technology. There was footage from the kids apartment building of Spider-Man entering a widow on the seventh floor, too.

Peter Parker was almost definitely Spider-Man.

Tony was looking through the kids details when Pepper came into his lab, wearing a business suit and holding a stack of files, and Tony _missed her._ It had only been a week since they started their break and he missed her so much and nothing was ever going to be the same again if they broke up for real, was it?

“Hey, Pep.” He forced a smile, and spun on his chair to face her, research on Peter Parker (all signs were pointing to him being Spider-Man, after all) completely forgotten as he tried to act normal. “What brings you here on this fine day?”

She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped, her gaze flickering from Tonys face, so something just behind him, and back to him. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she looked between him and whatever was behind him (Spider-Man hunt?), with an unreadable expression on her face.

Her gaze finally came to rest on him. “Oh, Tony.” She said softly. “Are you okay? When did you… find out?”

He tilted his head in confusion. “What?”

“Tony…” She said, her voice still soft. “Honey, you should’ve called me as soon as you found out.”

The endearment was not lost on Tony, and it made him miss Pepper even more, even though she was right in front of him. He missed her being there when he was at home and he missed eating dinner with her and trying to cook for her and going to sleep next to her and he missed her, he missed her so much.

That didn’t mean he had any clue what she was talking about, though.

“What’re talking about? What did I find out?” He asked, brows furrowing in confusion. “Did I find something out? Do I — FRI, do I have amnesia?”

“FRIDAY, don’t.” Pepper interrupted before the AI could answer. She nodded to whatever was behind him. “The kid, Tony. Peter Benjamin Parker, age fourteen. Why didn’t you call me when you found out?”

That just made him more confused. “You wanted… you wanted me to call you… when I found out who Spider-Man was?”

Pepper blinked. “What?”

“Peter Parker.” He said. “The kid I was looking up — he’s… Spider-Man. I didn’t know you were interested in Spider-Man.”

“Spider-Man, as in the guy that stops robberies in Queens?” Pepper asked slowly. “That kid — that little tiny baby kid — is _Spider-Man?”_

“Yeah…” Tony stared at her, still not really understanding what the hell was happening here. “As far as I can tell. All signs point to yes, and all that. Who did _you_ think he was?”

Pepper blinked again, slower. She shook her head hurriedly. “No, I — I thought he was _your_ kid.”

_“What?”_

“Well, what else was I meant to think?” Pepper exclaimed, looking at him like he was insane. “You’re sitting there, very clearly _pretending_ like you’re okay, with information on a kid that was born during the middle of your crazy years!”

“That’s a fair argument.” Tony shrugged. “But no. He’s not — not _my_ kid. He is the kid of three dead people and a widow. And he’s Spider-Man.”

“Three dead people?” Pepper asked quietly.

“Mm.” Tony turned back around, pulling up the pictures of Peters deceased parents and uncle. “Parents died in a plane crash in the beginning of ’07, uncle was killed in a robbery last year. Just him and the aunt left, now.”

“Poor kid.” Pepper murmured, her eyes flickering back to the picture of the painfully young Peter Parker.

“Yeah.” Tony paused, then clapped his hands together. “Anyway, what’s up? What do you need?”

“Oh, yeah,” Pepper passed him the files. “Some applicants for the September Foundation in the manila, specs for the new phone for you to look over in the maroon, and the paperwork from the UN in the magenta.”

“Thanks.” Tony smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Will that be all, Miss Potts?”

“That will be all, Mister Stark.” Pepper smiled slightly, then turned and left.

Tony missed her so much.

_“Go for Happy.”_

“Hey, Hap!” Tony said, looking at his watch. “Where are you?”

_“Uh, Tower. Why?”_

“I need you to pick up a kid in Queens. Peter Parker — he’ll know why you’re there. Should be waiting outside for you. I’ll get FRIDAY to send the address to your GPS.”

 _“You need me… to pick up a… kid?”_ Happy hesitated, and Tony could practically hear the cogs turning in his friends brain. Happy’s voice became uncharacteristically soft. _“Tony, I know this must be important for you, but you’re meant to be getting Cap, aren’t you? Is now really the best time to… see the kid?”_

“… Yeah?” He answered, somewhat hesitantly. “I need him to help with Cap.”

 _“Why would you want him to help with Cap?”_ Happy sounded absolutely _scandalised._ He sent through the address. _“That’s a terrible — oh, I got the address.”_

“Good.”

 _“No, no, Tony,_ not _good! Tony, why would you take your kid to fight_ Captain America? _That is a_ terrible _idea!”_

“Hold up,” Tony kept packing his bag for Germany. “Did you just say _your kid?”_

_“… Yeah?”_

“Oh, Happy. Dearest Harold. You’ve got the wrong idea, buddy.” Tony laughed. “Honestly, Pepper thought the same thing… he’s not _my kid.”_

 _“So you’re taking_ someone else’s _child to fight Captain America.”_ Happy said bluntly.

“I mean, I’m taking lots of other peoples children with me. Rhodey’s Mama Rhodes’ kid, Nat’s… well, no-one knows who her parents are… visions is my child, sort of — but also Bruce and Thors, going by that logic. T’Challa is T’Chaka’s son. All of them are _someone else’s_ child.” Tony paused. “And we’re not _fighting_ Spangles, we’re _finding_ him, and _catching_ him.”

 _“I don’t understand why you need some random kid.”_ Happy grumbled. _“Why are you taking him?”_

“Oh.” Tony realised. “He’s Spider-Man.”

 _“Oh… alright.”_ The man seemed to accept that. “ _Alright. Am I taking him to the airport?”_

“Yeah. Take him all the way to the hotel in Germany.” Tony slung his packed bag over his shoulder. “I’ll meet you there.”

Things got better, after Tony proposed to Pepper — his _fiancé!_

He had missed her, in the short time she’d been gone, and he never wanted to be apart from her like that again. He wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. He wanted to live with Pepper Potts until he died.

Things with the kid got better, too… after the yelling and screaming he got when May Parker found out about her nephews _extracurriculars._ That woman was a force to be reckoned with, and Tony was honestly terrified of her.

After the yelling, there were rules. Tony always had to answer if a Parker called. He needed suits on standby. Everything got passed by May.

Peter got an actual internship.

That wasn’t a rule that May set, but Tony did it anyway — and it was one of the best things he ever did. The kid was great. Practically a genius, really; able to follow Tony perfectly in the lab, despite still being a kid.

They became closer. Peter and Pepper bonded, Tony and May became a bit of a team, the kid just being around became as natural as anything. Even _Happy_ was warming up to the kid.

Rhodey had been in physical therapy basically constantly in the last six months, and Tony didn’t really like talking about himself when he was with his best friend. It was _his fault_ that Rhodey got shot out of the sky, and it was _his fault_ that his best friend was paralysed from the waist down.

So, when he was with Rhodey, he concentrated on Rhodey, and didn’t talk about his own life — other than the occasional talk about wedding planning, which was always instigated by the other man.

And because of that, Rhodey had no idea about Peter Parker.

It was a Friday — and on every second Friday, Happy brought the kid up to the compound straight after school, to stay the night for his ‘internship’, so they could work in the lab and update their suits, then watch movies and eat pizza and… yeah. It was a nice thing that had become completely ordinary in the months since Peters terrible Homecoming night.

They were working in the lab, Peter rambling about the girl in his decathlon that he was _very_ fond of over the sound of AC/DC, and how, _‘she’s just so… I dunno, she’s just really cool, and smart, and pretty, and like — well, she probably wouldn’t like that I called her pretty just now, because she’s really, really against beauty standards and all that, but she_ is, _and like —‘_

Tony laughed as the kid kept talking about anything and everything to do with Michelle Jones, and took the chest plate off the latest Mark.

“Okay, kid.” He interrupted Peters words. FRIDAY automatically made the music playing through the lab slightly quieter. “See that screwdriver on the bench? The flathead?”

“Here!” Peter passed brought it over, and held it out expectantly.

Tony shook his head. “Nah, you’re gonna do it. My eyes are too bad and my arms aren’t skinny enough.”

“O — oh.” Peter grinned, in the blinding way that he did that made Tony feel something strange in his heart. “Okay. Which screw?”

“The one right at the back — just where the arm attaches to the shoulder. I need you to swap it with this one for me.” He passed Peter another screw. “I’ll just be over there, if you need help.”

“Okay!” Peter started doing as he asked right away.

“Boss, Colonel Rhodes is requesting entrance to the lab.” FRIDAY stated, just as Rhodey became visible coming down the stairs beyond the labs glass doors.

“Sour Patch!” Tony exclaimed, starting toward the glass doors. “Kid, come meet Honey Bear!”

Rhodey came into the lab just as Peter pulled his arm from the Iron Man suit, not seeming to see the kid. “Hey, Tony Stank! Good to see you, man!”

“You too, Platypus.” Tony grinned. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Yeah, just decided to drop by. I was —” Rhodey stopped when he finally saw Peter standing awkwardly next to the suit. He did a double take, then looked between Tony and Peter in confusion for a second, before wiping the expression off his face. “— there’s a kid in here.”

“Yes, great observation, there _is_ a kid in here.” Tony said sarcastically. “Rhodey, this is Peter, Peter, Rhodey.”

“Hi…” Peter said, clearly nervous. “I’m uh, Peter, sir. Peter Parker.”

“James Rhodes.” Rhodey said, though Tony could see that there was something… off. Rhosey placed at Tony meaningfully, and pointed toward the stairs. “Tony I need to talk to you about something… privately.”

Tony followed his friend up the stairs, only to be met with Rhodes staring at him expectantly.

“What?”

“Tones!” Rhodey exclaimed, looking — hurt. He looked _hurt._ “Why wouldn’t you _tell me!_ This is the sort of huge, life altering thing that people _tell_ each other about!”

“What didn’t I tell you?”

“The kid, Tones!” Rhodey said, still looking hurt. “You’ve got a whole ass kid down there and you never told me about him!”

Tony rubbed his hand over his eyes. “No, Rhodey, he’s not — Pete isn’t my son. He’s Spider-Man, and I _know_ you’ll say something about that but _please_ don’t because I’ve had the exact same with Pepper _and_ Happy.”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Even if he isn’t your _son_ you’ve still found yourself a whole ass kid, buddy. A whole ass kid. That is in your lab. With your suit.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Tony pointed back down the stairs. “Come meet him, he’s a cool kid. Oh, and he’s got super hearing, so he _definitely_ heard all that.”

The hospital was the fanciest one he’d ever seen, his own MedBay coming in a close second, though.

He was bedridden, obviously. He had known he wouldn’t wield the gauntlet and get out unscathed — he’d even thought he would lose his life.

In the end, it was only an arm that he lost — a small price to pay to get Peter back; to have both his kids, together.

Somehow, in the week he’d been out, Clint and Ant-Man had become friends — chaos dads, was what the kid had called them, and Tony completely agreed.

They weren’t excluded from the assumption that Peter was Tonys son… and honestly, Tony wasn’t that surprised when it happened anymore. Literally everybody that ever saw him and the kid asked if Pete was his illegitimate son, except for May. Obviously.

“Hey, Tony.” Peter had taken Morgan out for a walk, so Tony was alone when Clint came into his room, Scott behind him awkwardly. “Hows the uh… not arm going?”

“Eh.” He shrugged. “Not there, I guess. Hows Laura? The kids?”

Clint smiled. “They’re good. Really good actually. Yours?”

 _Yours._ Clint had met Peter before, and not said the usual thing that people said, but Tony was pretty sure the man was just playing it casual, like he wasn’t meant to make a big deal of it.

“Yeah, Morgans okay. Pete just took her out, so she should be calmer when they get back.”

Scott looked between them in confusion. “You have kids? Like kids _, multiple?_ I thought it was just the girl — the little one?”

“Spider-Man.” Clint said. “It’s a newer revelation, I think. Or a secret. I dunno — Tony? How long’ve you known him?”

“Peter?” He laughed softly. “Since he became Spider-Man. Found him on YouTube.”

“Huh.” Scott nodded. “What a way to find out about your first kid, hey?”

“Yeah.” Clint agreed. “Imagine; you track down Spidey, and he turns out to be your son.”

Tony sighed. They assumed the same way they all did. “No, he’s — he’s not my son. His aunt should be ‘round here somewhere — he’s her kid. Well, legally, he’s her kid. Kids’ parents’ve been gone for a long time.”

Clint frowned. “But he’s your kid. I’ve seen you with him — he’s _definitely_ your kid.”

He laughed. “He is my kid, but he’s not my _son._ I — look, I don’t know when I started differentiating between _kid_ and _son,_ but there is a difference, and Pete lands in the first category. Of no… _biological_ relation.”

“Oh.” Scott said. “Well, he’s cool. D’ya think he’d make a bug band with me? Cause — bugs, y’know?”

_“Petey!”_ Morgan ran toward the kid as Peter got out of the passenger seat of Mays car. “Petey, I _missed you!”_

“Hey, Stark.” May gave him a quick hug as she came up to the door. “Good to see you.”

“You too, May.” Tony smiled at the sight of his daughter clinging to the kid. “She hasn’t stopped talking about him all week — she’s _very_ excited that you guys are staying over tonight.”

“‘Course she is.” May smiled. “Did Peter tell you about MJ?”

“Ah, yes, the famous MJ.” He grinned, glancing back at May’s little car. “She’s staying over, right?”

“As far as I know.” She laughed. “They’re adorable.”

“Young love.” He laughed, as a girl Peter age helped Peter grab their bags, smiling at the kid, but dropping it when she saw him looking.

“Hey, Mister Stark.” Peter smiled.

“Pete!” Tony exclaimed, hugging the kid. “I missed you.”

“‘Course you did.” Peter murmured as they hugged. “Your poor old senior citizen heart can’t stand being away from me.”

Tony released him. “Lets not forget that I had to live in a Peter-less world for five years.”

“Tragic.”

“Very.” He laughed and turned to MJ. “You must be Michelle — the famous scary girlfriend.”

“Mister _Stark!”_ Peter complained, at the same time as Michelle said “It’s MJ.”

“MJ.” He smiled. “Alright. I’m Tony.”

MJ narrowed her eyes, then shrugged. “Good to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“MJ said she’d play Disney with me!” Morgan exclaimed. “She’s _so cool!”_

Tony laughed.

It wasn’t until later in the night when Michelle approached him, while he was washing up after dinner. Her eyes drifted briefly to the internship picture above the sink before she continued to stare at him.

“Your intern has a personal room in your very secluded lake house. Next to your very young daughters room. Across from your own room. It says _Peter’s Room_ on it and everything.” She said, assessing him silently. “That’s not normal.”

“Mm, probably true.” Tony cracked a grin. “But, y’know, I’ve never been one for normal — there’s an alpaca out back, if you need proof. Gerald. Morgan absolutely _adores_ him.”

MJ squinted slightly, seemingly pondering something, then spoke confidently. “You’re his father, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question — it was a statement.

“Nah. Not really.” Tony laughed. “I wish he was. He’s… well, he’s my kid, but I’m not his dad.”

“Hmm.” MJ smiled. “You care about him. A lot.”

“Yeah. I do.” Tony nodded. “And you do too, don’t you.”

“Yeah.” She looked to the side slightly, then back at Tony. “He’s a huge disaster, but I think I might be — I think I might love him.”

Tony grinned.

The kid was growing up.

It seemed like people would always assume that Peter was him son… and Tony didn’t mind that one bit.

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii so i was bored and now im doing one of those bingo thingies so um... yeah lol :) also yes the title is from brooklyn nine nine, very slightly changed, i have many unhealthy addictions
> 
> ALSO theres gonna be a bunch of them so should they be in one thing or singular stories each? pls help me lol


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